Ugh. My shoulder and arm hurt. Really badly. I’ve been up since 3 something a.m. because I could no longer ignore the pangs. The frequency and duration of pain has gotten progressively worse since Dec. 9th., the day of my vein surgery when I was bruised up from that (and it was that time of the month, yay) the laundry room sliding door came out of the track and fell on my left arm.  I also over-extended the same arm reaching behind the couch to pick up a stray toy (work hazards of a SAHM, I tell you what!).

Urgent care took x-rays before New Year’s Day and said it wasn’t a fracture at the pain point, and to go see an orthopedic doctor if the pain persisted–could be a musculoskeletal issue.  So on Monday this girl from the cornfields of Ohio (kinda…I lived in Ohio the longest, at least) drove into the craziness that is downtown city for an appointment.

Going into the parking garage, I had to use that left arm to reach out for a parking printout ticket.  Thankfully, no one was behind me so I could cry a bit on the steering wheel before proceeding, that hurt so much.  Then the x-ray tech put my arm at a 60 degree angle and had me lean on it–WOWZER did that hurt.  I cried again…and I’m not normally a crybaby when it comes to physical stuff.  (I birthed two children without epidurals.) Finally, the PA assessing my injury had me do all these resistance exercises to see where it hurt to be able to make a diagnosis. She found all the wheres.

Thankfully, it is not a rotator cuff injury, which could possibly require surgery.  It’s a biceps tendon injury , possibly tear, but OT and ibuprofen should treat it.  We have a high insurance deductible so paying for OT (generally between $200-300 per 30 min. visit) won’t be fun, but I can’t take 800 MG of ibuprofen forever (I generally try to grit through the pain but the pain is a 9 out of 10 right now).

I decided this morning that if I can’t sleep, I’d read. In a devotional by Julie Link I read a quote by Hellen Keller, the famed deaf-blind student of Anne Sullivan who grew to be a speaker and social activist:

• 

My chatty son (well, only in the morning) woke up at 5:30 this morning, too.  Why not join the party before the sun?  At least at 7 years old he’s pretty self-sufficient, and I can ask him to get me some Rice Chex with honey at the same time he’s getting his own.

So yeah, it’s not quiet here in the wee hours of the morning, I feel like I’m suffering, and now I’m looking for that vision clearing, ambition rising, and achieving success. If it doesn’t kill you, it can make you stronger if you let it, right? So here’s to my soul strengthening! Helen Keller’s not here to thank, but if she were I’d let her know that was just the inspiration I needed to not waver into “poor me” mode this morning! If you’re in pain today too, physical or emotional, may your soul grow stronger through it. Beauty for ashes.

Images from Canva’s free editing resources.